Something someone said really got to me today. I know this person didn't intentionally mean to do this, nor did this person realize what they were saying would get to me, but it did. I don't think the person, and I hope they never will, realize how much it got to me, because I don't want them to feel bad. But, all of a sudden, I realized that I'm getting a little old.
Maybe it's because I've been planning out places to apply for my Ph.D., maybe it's because my brother (who is 2 years younger than me) just bought a house and has a successful (read: wealthy) job, or maybe it's just a funk. Whatever it is, it made me take a step back and look at where I stand now in my life.
I'm happy just the way I am right now.
But, what if I commit myself to something and I lose out on opportunities?
I know there are woulda/coulda/shoulda's abounding in life, and this is no doubt going to be one of them. I'm going to gain something, yet I know I'll be losing as well.
This is soon becoming one of those moments where I realize that I don't want to end up alone and childless, yet I want my independence. But, I finally realized that if I do go for the Ph.D., I'm going to be around 30 when I finish it.
30!! I mean, it's still young, but...I don't know where I'm going with this... I guess I see it as the following case:
Woulda Coulda Shoulda
V.
Veni Vidi Vici
Someday, I'll make something out of me afterall.
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