I've started and deleted this post many times; crying over the process it took to write and remember what happened. It wasn't until I read this website that I was finally able to start talking more openly about my experience. Even though no one may ever read this, even if it reaches just one person, I hope they find solace in the fact that they are not alone about how they feel.
Part I: Pregnancy up to the Induction
Sciatica sucked. Pregnant, or not, I would never wish that pain upon my worst enemy. In many ways it was worse than labor pain--and there were days where I wished I had broken my ankle again instead of the sciatica. In fact, most of the reason I wanted the epidural was because my hip and leg hurt worse than the contractions. Anyway, my son was laying on the left side of my uterus, which caused a nerve to basically go ballistic from weeks 34-40. My left hip, leg and knee hurt so bad that I would cry out in pain. There was no amount of Tylenol, warm baths or leg massages that could relieve the pain.
I was relegated to bed whenever I was home, because I could not function with a clear mind while I was in pain. The pain actually became so bad that I took maternity leave a week early (at the beginning of week 39), because I was crying in front of my students due to the pain. And, I worried what stress I was causing to the baby.
During my 38th week of pregnancy my doctor gave me the option to induce on my due date because of the pain. At the time I didn't want to induce, because I really wanted to have that All-American rush to the hospital birth. And, I thought I was strong enough to handle the pain.
However, at week 39 I was pissed at myself for not scheduling the induction date. The hip/leg pain was intense. Plus, I had hurt my collarbone, because I tried to pull myself up in bed and couldn't; I'm sure I looked like a mess.
So, on the afternoon of Thursday, November 18th, as I waddled into my doctor's office with tears in my eyes, I told my doctor I was tired of the pain. I had stopped working on Monday of that week (November 15th), and to drive because I was afraid I would hurt myself with the blinding pain, so Jeff was driving me to-and-from doctors appointments (in truth, he had been doing that for a couple of weeks because of the pain). Anyway, she agreed that it was time, and tried to schedule me for an induction on my due date (November 22).
One little problem--when she called over to the maternity ward (the hospital we go to has a wellness center, profession building [doctor offices--where my OBGYN and family practitioner are located], the hospital and emergency room all connected by corridors), the maternity ward said they did not have room for us on the 22nd. Instead, they had room that night (the 18th), and if I wanted they would be happy to schedule me.
Well, the thought of having the baby became TOO REAL TOO SOON. I had always envisioned going into labor at home and being able to mentally prepare myself. Instead, I was being asked to go home, pack and be right back at the hospital. NOPE--I couldn't do it. So, I was placed on a waiting list for the 22nd. (Yes, that's right: I was still NOT entirely packed for the hospital. I had a diaper bag ready to go, but not my bag.)
The very next morning I received the phone call that a spot had opened up and I could be induced on the 22nd. So, Friday morning I spent 35 minutes on the phone with a nurse going over a lot of paperwork and other information. The nice thing about the hospital I go to is that I preregistered for labor and delivery, so the verbal verification was that was needed before my induction. While I was still nervous, the 3-day time period gave me time to prepare for what would be happening. For the rest of Friday I laid in bed or on the couch and drank water. I was in so much pain I couldn't sleep, so I was pretty grumpy.
On Saturday my parents came down and helped us with the last-minute items we needed to do. My dad and Jeff put in the car seat, and my dad helped Jeff buy a snow blower--a luxury we should have had last year during the 3 blizzards.
On Sunday Jeff and I took it easy, because we knew I had to report to the hospital at 8 p.m. that night. See, my cervix needed to be ripened before being induced, so the night before starting Pitocin, the nurse would insert a small pill, Cytotec, into my vagina to help ripen the cervix. I will write more about Cytotec in Part II.
I was so nervous before leaving for the hospital that I could barely eat. I grabbed some peanut butter and grape jelly toast, hugged and kissed the cats a bunch, then double checked my bags (which had been packed for only 2 days--don't you judge me!!)
Jeff ushered me out the door as we drove the 15-20 minutes to the hospital. We were supposed to be there at 8:00 p.m. I think we got there at 7:55, and they were still making up my room. It was dark, and the only comfort I found was that my room was HOT and the ice water felt great. Plus, both of my nurses that night had the same name--just spelled differently: Mandy and Mandi.
Next up: Part II
No comments:
Post a Comment