For Fear's Sake

I have a stabbing pain in my heart, that I feel cannot be repaired.

I have been trying to make friends since I moved down here, but it seems next to impossible. The teachers I work with are either way older than I am, or have all of their college friends living near by.

I don't.

My friends live up in South Dakota and Minnesota. So, seeing them during the winter months is almost impossible. Not to mention that they both work jobs where they are on call during the weekends.

Except for the summer, I only have weekends off, and truthfully, I end up working a lot during those weekends for various reasons.

Yet, I still feel lonely.

I've never been able to make friends easily. In fact, I really don't like most people when I first like them. So, just an FYI, if you know me and I'm still talking to you, it means I really do like you. Anyway, because of how picky I am, I haven't had anyone to hang out with in the 2 1/2 years I've lived down here.

Well, I take that back. I did hang out with a couple people a few times, but I found that to be a situation that I didn't believe was healthy. So, while I still talk to that person, I don't hang out with her anymore.

I've been toying with ways to try and find friends, but they never really seem to work. I've thought about joining a book club, but those meet early afternoons or Tuesday nights at 6:30. Um, that does not work for me, because we have a lot of school activities on Tuesday nights. I've also thought about volunteering, but I don't feel like driving down to the bad part of town (and, oh yes, this town has bad parts).

I don't knit very well, so stitch-and-bitch would not work.

Any other ideas??

Oops, better go before I miss the AMAs.